I didn't realize how much I was ready for this whole Covid thing to be over in the New Year until the exact opposite happened. These last weeks, I've been really struggling to be in the uncomfortable space of Not Knowing. I've been trying desperately to grab control over the things that I can not possibly have control over. And I could feel myself slipping into that lethargic dark dullness. It's not like I can't find productive things for myself to do, but the overpowering bleakness tricks me into feeling bored. So I am breathing, I am thinking positively, smiling about the things I'm thankful for. I am trying to just leave the symbolic door to the world open instead of peering out of it every 30 seconds to see if anything has changed. I don't want to slip into numb unconsciousness, I want to prepare for the celebration that I know is on the horizon. I am ready to come out of the cocoon that the last year provided, I'm ready for the roaring 20's. I want to focus on how I would like to emerge from this pandemic, certainly with Style. If I keep breathing, I am not burned by that feeling of readiness, but sweetly warmed by it.
Some Things That are Making Me Happy
Pretend It's A City Trailer, Dir. Scorsese A truly wonderful mini-series on Netflix with Fran Lebowitz an iconic New Yorker and Writer.
Middleditch & Schwartz Trailer More Netflix, brilliant actual long-form improv, this made my face hurt from laughing.
Dead Eyes Podcast A quest to solve a very stupid mystery that has haunted comedian Connor Ratliff for two decades: Why Tom Hanks fired him from a small role in the 2001 HBO mini-series, Band Of Brothers for having dead eyes.....
Audrey Helps Actors Podcast This is probably my favorite podcast for actors
Jordan B. Peterson Podcast A deep dive in another direction. Jordan Peterson is a professor of psychology at the University of Toronto, a clinical psychologist, and an author. Jordan's exploration of the story and hero's journey has been some of my favorite listens, as well as the episodes on existentialism.
Style is the answer to everything By Bukowski
Style is the answer to everything. A fresh way to approach a dull or dangerous thing. To do a dull thing with style is preferable to doing a dangerous thing without it. To do a dangerous thing with style is what I call art.
Bullfighting can be an art. Boxing can be an art. Loving can be an art. Opening a can of sardines can be an art.
Not many have style. Not many can keep style. I have seen dogs with more style than men, although not many dogs have style. Cats have it with abundance. When Hemingway put his brains to the wall with a shotgun, that was style. Or sometimes people give you style. Joan of Arc had style. John the Baptist. Christ. Socrates. Caesar. García Lorca.
I have met men in jail with style. I have met more men in jail with style than men out of jail. Style is the difference, a way of doing, a way of being done. Six herons standing quietly in a pool of water, or you, naked, walking out of the bathroom without seeing me.